Skip to main content

Forever

 When you listen to enough Country music I guess it's natural that the songs begin to describe your life. Now in my mind I think of myself as in my 20's a 70's outlaw country fan. Ah the good old days Willie, Waylon, and the Boys will ride forever - but the modern stuff has more than a few artists worth a listen. Luke Combs is one with his song " Forever ". His song being something of a bookend thematically with Carly Pearce's "Didn't Do". My life is changing and confusing these days but damn the music's good. Well, my CDs are packed up at the moment so I'm relying on YouTube. Thus the music is good with lots of commercial interruptions!

 When I owned apartments I was often faced with the decision of of 'how good of a repair' did I want to pay for. Quite often I erred on the side of fixing it like I'd 'own it forever'. That wasn't always the perfect choice but it does leave you feeling good about who you are. I carried this philosophy with notable exceptions to other areas of my life. It was certainly useful in gardening. 

 My raised beds in the garden started as temporary solutions with what I could afford and had on hand. Yet, when I had the opportunity to choose, I chose to build with stone, it lasts! When I planted my first rows of food they were annuals with seeds others had shared with me. A few years in I found myself planting fruit trees and perennials. In some ways that temporary to permanent planting of roots is illogical. You waste a lot of time by not starting with the slowest to grow. Wasted in the sense that a garden is some sort of end result, a destination, not a way to travel. The waste of not focusing on forever is doubly illogical when I reflect that every garden I have ever left has been torn up by the next to own the property. Buddhists see impermanence as a fundamental element of life and denying it as the cause of suffering. Yes, but, there is something soul satisfying in building something for the ages, IF you can also remember that what you are building is merely a sand castle. The tide will come and tomorrow you can build again - forever. 

 Deb and I have decided to sell our house of these last 20 plus years. We're leaving our Colorado, 40 years each of the mountains, Columbines, Cherry Creek and the Platte. We're selling all those cheap patches and forever fixes. Selling the garden that has fed us so well all these years and leaving Colorado our family and friends. Yesterday I packed my seeds in a small box. I'm crying like this mean something as I write this, damn that impermanence thing! Ah it's probably just the damned song has changed to a sad one. Stupid YouTube!

 Yesterday was Holocaust Remembrance day and I'd like to offer two disparate  thoughts. First, after each of the all too many mass shootings one of the questions always raised is "How did they get the gun?". How did a child, how did a clearly deranged person... who gave the baby a gun! Perhaps, each year we can use the day to ask the question who gave the politician a gun. Has history not forever shown that politicians should not be given a license to carry. No I don't have a solution to how to unwind 'their nukes but not mine' or how to deal with evil and aggression. I'm only asking we individually think hard - look into the possible future each time we are asked to give the politician a gun.

 The second thought is from my reading Sam Zell's book 'Am I being Too Subtle'. It is beyond hackneyed to use the phrase 'the last train out'. Yet, Mr Zell's parents did exactly that in the least hackneyed way possible. They took the last train out of Poland as Germany invaded. I don't know a good source to read all the details but it is worth whatever time you need to spend to read as much about it as you possible can. It is a tale beyond anything a Hollywood script writer could spin. It has a Japanese diplomat, descendant of a Samurai, disobeying orders and saving both Mr Zell's parents and approximately 6000 other Jews fleeing. It has his Dad pleading with family friends and neighbors to listen to what he sees coming and leave. The train itself is routed and rerouted around the blitzkrieg and that is just the beginning of their 2 year journey. Imagine the moments, the choices, the fear and tears the very real human drama. Evolution is pragmatic, Fight and flight are hard-wired in as only the survivors pass on their genes. Sam Zell was born in 1941 in Chicago.

 Deb and I won't be traveling through a war so surely we can handle a little change. It is beyond hackneyed to break up with a lover like Colorado by saying "it's not you but me". Yet no matter the motivation for moving no one wants to hear the bitter explanations of "it's not you but - but really it's you!" Thus I'll leave on the song by Carly Pearce and write again not from Eden just the next place I can put a root in the ground. Be safe. Doug A.

 

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Taste like cucumber

I've got to start us off with Waylon Jennings' classic.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kxll2-th4Gc Deb and I went down to our cabin in the mountains for the Memorial weekend.  More exactly we went down to our tiny RV on the property next to the cabin.  The cabin floor is close to finished and thus the bed and all are stuffed in the bathroom awaiting warm weather and the final coat of shellac.  A 20' RV two adults and two dogs makes for close quarters, especially when it starts raining.  That said there is something quite wonderful about playing rummy 500 by lantern light with Deb.  It's way too easy in a marriage to get to plinking along in your little path and forget how nice it is to have a wife you love. I suggested to Deb that although the RV is getting on 40 years old we could probably get a pretty penny for it if we marketed it as a marital therapy tool.  (therapy dogs extra!)   Being a gardener I have sprinkled some seeds as the cabin h...

The tomatoes are red the gardener is blue

 I'm stuck in a loop. I think that's what software programmers call it. I know the roots of this hopelessness are firmly planted in the utter destruction of our cabin and property in the forest fire that I alluded to in the last blog's prologue. Knowing the source of a polluted stream doesn't really help if your just wallowing in it. It's the wallowing that is the loop. A sporadic series of should haves and could haves that leave you so second guessed out that I've got little mental energy to accomplish all but the littlest things. Musically speaking I got da blues!   The music is Billie Holiday - Lady in Autumn.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Npoe5XeeMYE&list=PLbYb5_Imn1rsDMoIU38jxi_O0aRaYj4CG 'cause given my mood - well, it was the obvious choice.   If you're a libertarian like me it's hard not to on occasion reflect on a woman who's life included heroin abuse, alcohol abuse, abusive relationships and died at 44. The line between libert...

Bleeping grackles

 I've just spent the last 15 minutes searching bird guides on-line and on paper to try to figure out what is nesting in the grape arbor.  It looks like a nuthatch or wren that has dressed to go to work for UPS.  It's incredibly tiny and quite cute but clearly not one to be pushed around.  When I first saw it at the beginning of summer it was trying to take over a bird house I had created out of an old boot.  Some chickadees had moved in and I was thrilled to see the house used.  The chickadees had dutifully carried a boots worth of material from the yard to their nest.  At a moment when both the male and female were out collecting material my little UPS bird 'discovered' the boot.  He sat at the hole pulling material out.  Clearly their tastes in furnishings were different you could almost see him (her?) shaking his head "this straw with those drapes - come on!".  The chickadees returned and a battle royal ensued with it ending with two ...

The price of free

I came in when I heard the thunder but was intentionally not going to write.  Couldn't live up to that commitment when Pryor Baird & the Deacons started playing Little Red Wagon. I can't find a YouTube link so I'm substituting with  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEmvBdRLg4k  and I'll leave you to find this driving rhythm.  If you're thinking I've heard Little Red Wagon done by___.  Yeah everybody done it.  Some versions are so slow and deep delta bluesish that you gotta figure heroin was on the menu.  This is I think you'd call it more Chicago blues with a staccato driving beat. No matter what you call it my hands started slapping the desk and that led to slapping this keyboard. For some technical reason beyond my imagination the stereo has flipped past the rest of the CD and gone on to John Mayall Plays John Mayall.  It's John Mayall so I'm not going to argue.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3BK8-Mmn1s&list=PL94gOvpr5yt2BTHyFMsHR...

Three Little Birds

  It's Saturday the day before Mother's day so I'll start with a little eye candy for the ladies.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8nm_jvE_Xs   Jake is essentially the MSNBC (vs say Fox) version of the youtube movie I shared last time "Back to Eden" which emphasizes wood chip based gardening.  While the whole video is worth watching I especially liked his gardening philosophy which he touches on around the 10 minute mark.   Got to jump off topic (quelle surprise!) Jimmy Cliff has me boogieing to Let Your Yeah Be Yeah https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDp_7kSli0w   Jake's 'just start making mistakes' philosophy is akin to my own.  I can't tell you how many gardening books (Permaculture books are the worst) devote chapter after chapter to 'creating your plan'.  Yeah I would have killed a lot fewer plants and my fruit trees would have been planted years ago not to mention a quality watering system.  No doubt people with 5 year life plans ...

notes from the bunker - a thought on freezes in spring

The snow from yesterday is mostly melted as I write. The only thing left to be figured out is was there any serious damage. It was really little more than a simple spring storm with a bit of a hard freeze or near hard freeze last night. Possibly again tonight. The mizuna and arugula I had put out last week under a little row cover of plastic got an added bit of fleece for protection.  I'm sure they'll be fine, pretty cold hardy stuff. A bit more of a worry is some spinach and lettuce which I'd also put out. It was being killed off by some unknown thing on my window ledges indoors and thus was at least as safe outside. I had, knowing that the storm was coming, covered these with Wall O Waters. Wall O Waters are kind of the PPEs for plants in spring. A brilliant little invention which adds a good measure of protection from temporary light freezes. Hard freezes are something again and this is a bit early for my normal sowing of spinach and lettuce, so I'll hope. If I'm...

Notes from the bunker -Spring

  If you want to find the most interesting things in my garden you have to go to the edges. It's the first full day of spring.  This being Denver, after a couple weeks of 60°s to finish off winter, I'm looking out at 3 or 4 inches of snow and ice. Highs today perhaps the 30°s. Nothing really unusual in that. My desk calendar might be printed in black and white "SPRING BEGINS" but any gardener knows that it's not that binary a world. Heck it's not even analog as in a smooth gradual transition. Weather at a mile high is predictable in the sense that winter will be colder than summer but not in the sense that you can't have an 80° day in February and a freeze in July. It's more a what are the chances thing.  That gamble is part of the joy of gardening. It's also why the heart of my garden is located in the best sun, in raised beds with the best soil and best access to water. Ya gotta stack the odds some years just to have a chance.   Ah but those ed...

After the Garden

  Those of you who know me know I hover somewhere between Catholic and agnostic. Thus when I say there are surprisingly few words about Adam in the Bible, you know I had to look to check. If you need to check it yourself go ahead you'll see. A little about how he came to be, a touch about Eve, a bit about that garden thing and then on to what the kids did. Really, I expected a lot more!   I mean what about that day Adam was sitting outside the garden fence thwacking a stick against a tree?! He was just thinking, I don't want any more sadness God. Yeah, yeah I know it's your plan and I'm not supposed to question it but your plan sucks! He flipped his middle finger towards heaven. As he did a hummingbird who had become blind landed on it. Yeah, see that's what I mean God. How am I supposed to fix this? Sure I can name it and that's fun but how can I fix the pain in the world?  Look at the old garden! It's an overgrown jungle. I need pruners, saws and a shovel...

Not saying I've been holding back but for a little more money I could do Moore*

We passed 90 yesterday and I think we'll hit it again today. I got up early but other than a brief walk around in the cool of the morning the garden didn't capture my attention. It's Friends of the Library's annual Whale of a book sale this morning. My focus was of course on the CDs. I'm proud to say I kept my obsession below the divorce threshold and still caught a few good finds.   Among the finds is Eric Clapton's - ME and MR JOHNSON https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENbUS87wZys&list=PLVvg4t71YncxcWh5sMpHpBF8OJRMrxVHG which I've stacked up on the stereo with a progression of sorts of Muddy Waters, John Lee Hooker, Blues Brothers, & Blues Traveler.   In June it gets complicated. While walking the dogs this morning I had a bit of a deep gardening discussion with my neighbor Matt. He was watering his raised beds in the front yard and had his young son strapped to his back in a backpack type arrangement. I don't know the term or if one exists so ...

Winter

 Just came in from digging the kitchen scraps into the latest raised bed. The soil is essentially non-existent merely a fill of leaves, a tiny amount of grass clippings, and some wonderful chicken coop material Deb's sister had saved aside for me. The chicken poop has already started heating the pile after watering it yesterday. All very hopeful, that it might burn down into something plant-able by spring. Adding to the hope a light drizzle has begun with rain expected through the afternoon and evening. Yeah I know chicken poop and compost are kinda out there on the garden nerd spectrum.   The rain is the perfect accompaniment to the blues on the stereo. The weather outside gray and more invigorating than cold. Inside a mug of tea and a combo of Fats Waller, Howlin' Wolf and best of all the Alligator Records' 20th Anniversary Collection. The enclosed notes in the Alligator two CD edition are the story of legends of the blues. The talent list is a powerhouse going from Pinet...